Paris Nights

Tonight I was working the service desk at the grocery store. During the many long and boring intervals between customers I was randomly cleaning, looking in all the drawers and cabinets to take a mental inventory, observing customers and pacing. 

During one of these breaks I had the free time to notice that my hands felt a bit on the dry side and remembered seeing some lotion in one of the drawers so I opened it and selected one from 3 choices. The cute mini bottle of pink lotion was entitled 'Paris Nights'. A quick somewhat distant sniff told me this was okay even though I never go for lotion with much scent to it.

I squeezed out a small pea-sized amount and rubbed it into both hands, and then it hit me. Let it suffice to say that if that is what Paris smells like at night it's coming off my list of places to visit someday.  My hands smelled like a combination of cheap perfume and a flower I could not identify. It naturally followed me everywhere and since I was trapped in the service booth I could not wash my hands.

Looking around desperately for a solution I spied the Purell hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. Surely this could neutralize the stench on my hands! I applied it with high hopes only to be doubly mortified by the new addition of the Purell smell and rubbing alcohol combo I had added to the original stank. I couldn't believe I had made it worse and now I had to live with it for another hour and a half.

As soon as my shift ended I washed my hands with the foamy hand soap in the kitchen at work. I'm not sure what I was expecting but all I succeeded in doing was adding a layer of that smell to the others. I have no words to describe the aroma which I drove home in my small car with. 

Upon arriving home I had to use the facilities and therefore washed my hands again, this time with my cucumber melon hand soap. You guessed it, layers 5 and 6. I attempted to eat a snack and was overwhelmed each time my hand came near my face. It also made my snack taste funny. By this time my nasal passages began to stuff up and my sinuses tingle. 

At bedtime I went into my daughter's room and she said, "God, mom, your hands stink, go out!" Shunned and contemplating a night without sleep as the stench would surely follow me (I like to have my hands up near my pillow), I finally reached for the baking soda. I have scrubbed with that twice and it abated it slightly but it is still there. I only pray it will diminish further with a couple more baking soda treatments. Perhaps I should wear my gloves to bed tonight in the name of sleep for all concerned? Who knew lotion could be so lasting? And the worst part is...my hands are super dry after all this washing and scrubbing and I'm afraid to put anything else on them!

Update: Desperate to relieve my sandpaper hands I applied a small tad of my regular lotion. You don't want me to describe it. Maybe some tomato juice?

Wish me luck!