Breaking the Silence

Surprise! 
I'll bet you thought I had disappeared, right? Nope, still here. A few more gray hairs, but not too much worse for wear in general. Though now I look at my eyebrows, I might want to think about a trip to the salon! 

I was thinking today that I miss writing and thought I'd jot down a few things. I'm not prone to write when I feel I have nothing to say, or when I might say something I'll regret having in writing, hence the prior silence. I make no promises about the future frequency. You might want to get a drink and settle in for this one though. I feel a bit of a ramble coming on after my hiatus. Be patient as I get back into my groove.

So, first, I'm not sure if I'm starting to have a mid-life crises or not but I sure have been thinking about my life a lot lately. Things in the past, decisions I made, consequences, etc. Not sure I've worked anything out yet but I'm in the soup.  To top it all off I even got an email today reminding me that my 30th high school reunion is this summer. That was a great e-mail. Not sure how I feel about the whole reunion thing but now I'm thinking about things that happened at school.  Ow.  Anybody feeling me?

Not saying there weren't good times, but it seems the painful ones always stand out.

Maybe I should go to the reunion. Maybe it will help me sort some things out. What does everyone think? I'm open to your opinions and experiences with this.

Second, last year I decided to try gardening. So far so good. These aren't my boots, mine have bold flowers all over them, but they may as well be. I'm a bit behind on my weeding but who isn't? (Don't answer that if you're caught up) I don't want a pressure garden, just something that makes me happy, gives me a creative outlet and lets me get my hands in the earth. There's a huge learning curve and I'm not even at the first arc yet. Some things are doing better this year than last, now being established, and this year I moved and expanded the herb garden. No veggies this year except for Emma's tomato plant, which is pretty much on it's own if I'm honest. Also, beetles ate my cherries and apples. If you only knew how many I hand picked off the plants and trees you'd be sympathetic to my plight. Next round will be Japanese beetles. Pray for me.

Third, I read a book once about how much mental, emotional and physical energy it takes just to have, manage, store and keep a mental inventory of our things. Now, I don't know about you, maybe it's the mid-life thing, but I don't have as much mental, emotional and physical energy as I used to to give away for no good reason, so...sell, sell, sell!
Luckily, we have a great local on-line yard sale site that takes away the pain of actually having a yard sale. You know. You spend a week before getting everything together, clean, sorted, priced and organized. Then you advertise, make signs and put them up, get small bills and quarters together, find an apron and a sharpie and keep the family away from the boxes. Then you spend all the early morning getting everything on the lawn and then spend what is inevitably 6 hours of hell in the sun on what will inevitably be the hottest day of the summer, dickering with people over what your stuff is worth. (No one pays full price unless they're a noob) In the end you start selling everything for pennies on the dollar just to make it all go away and be able to close up shop, put a free sign on the leftovers at the curb and go inside for a cool drink and count the ridiculous small amount of money you made which you will realize netted you about 25 cents an hour for all your work start to finish. No thank you.
I'll admit I like going to yard sales occasionally, but having one is a whole other world.

Fourth, (totally a coincidence) Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, which was about my favorite holiday when I lived on the island. Big day there. Lots of fun with friends. Great fireworks that couldn't start till 10:30 or so because of the lazy late sunsets. Moderate temperatures. And the "traffic jam" lasted about 10 minutes. I'm not a huge heat lover so I'm not as psyched about tomorrow. Here in Maine it will be hazy, hot, high humidity and 95 degrees or more and I pretty much wouldn't think of venturing out in the traffic. I'm thinking I need to make lots of cool drinks, make sure the sprinkler is working and lay low till nightfall. Anyone want to join me? 

Fifth, In my revisiting of the past I have rediscovered my love for music, lots of different music. In particular I've been listening to a lot of old Journey stuff. (The real Journey). Anyone with me out there? They were and still are my all time favorite. Such great songs and chemistry they had. Isn't music the bomb? I mean as I go down memory lane I realize that the music I listened to really was like the soundtrack to my life. It can bring out things you haven't though of in years as soon as you hear the first notes, guitar riff or words of a song. Music is so powerful and if it's done right it can endure and be timeless. I put myself in a self imposed musical box for awhile but now I'm broadening my horizons again. I've also been blessed listening to some classic Sam Cooke, Etta James (loving the R&B), Third Day, Toby Mac, Newsboys and trying out some new music as well. I mean I'm still alive right, I still need a soundtrack. And I don't know about you but I'm not liking living in a box of any kind so, so far I like Imogen Heap, White Stripes, The Eels, 
James Arthur...gosh there's so much out there...I'm taking suggestions...

Ok, Lastly for today, as I don't want to wear you out too soon. 
I am grateful for my family, my adopted family and my friends. 
Thinking of you today, big hugs to all of you near and far, you are loved!