Doin' The Happy Dance!!!

Time to celebrate. Raise your glass and join in the toast. We closed on the sale of our house today. We're officially moving on! God has blessed us with a quick sale and cooperative park owners ( a miracle in itself). So now we are on to the next step....Pray, pray and then pray some more. Then listen very hard to hear what God has for us next. We're heading up to our cottage in Maine for a bit of R&R. Thanks to all who prayed with us through phase one. Don't give up the ship yet! I'll keep you posted when I get back to electricity.

Rebuilding the House

Our Pastor is giving a series of sermons right now called Extreme Makeover. It is hitting home hard and I so appreciate his willingness to step out and talk about real, hard issues AND how to resolve them. God wants to rebuild the house (us) from the ground up. Pastor Mark likened it to the TV show Extreme Makeover Home Edition. In just about every case now, they completely demolish the old house and build a new one on a new foundation from the ground up. This is what God wants to do in my and every one of His kids' life. There's no duct taping, patching, bracing and painting just to make due and make it look new. No. He wants to build fresh, with strong materials, protective coverings and beautiful finishes. My house is battered and worn with life's pains and has been sadly neglected. I feel kind of like the house pictured above. I am currently in the demolition phase and am finding it a very painful but hopeful process. In the end, if I cooperate, I expect some great results. As we give away or throw away the majority of our earthly possessions I am seeing it now as a demolition of the old, painful life I am leaving behind, preparing for the new life that will be revealed. It will certainly make moving cross country easier if that is what is to be. Thanks to everyone on Lopez who has wittingly or unwittingly contributed to our preparation for such a time as this. The memories of our friends and church family and knowing they have not forgotten but continue to hold us up in prayer are a rock for us during this time and will help us see things through. And to my parents for helping us with all the details. We are forever grateful and we love you all.

Which Is Me?

As I was telling my friend Marsha the other day, stress does not bring out the best in people. As a matter of fact the real you comes out pretty quickly. You know, the one you try to keep under wraps, quiet, subdued. Allowing yourself to think you've conquered it. I have not posted anything here in a while because I have not been able to gather my thoughts into a coherent paragraph. I have been the angry bear with my husband. This I credit to stress, which of course brought all my un-lovely traits straight to the surface. I believe I am not alone in saying that we would like it if someone else were to blame for all our woes. But the simple truth is that I am ultimately responsible for my own actions, attitudes and beliefs. The self constantly strives to have it's own way, no matter what the cost. After all, we are constantly told by every means that 'we're worth it, we deserve ______, (fill in the blank with whatever belongs to you).' The lies become the truth to us if we listen long enough and then we are angry with anyone who appears to get in the way of our ambitions. I heard a long time ago a saying that seems appropriate here. The center of SIN is I. Sin separates me from God and from all those I have relationship with. As I am being ground in this olive press of life right now, God has made it clear to me some areas where I have turned away from Him, wanting my own way being the top blocker recently. We have lost most of the contents of our home from damage while we were away, sold our house at a loss, lost our second vehicle and are unemployed. It feels like we are pressed from every side. This is the cost of our freedom. Freedom from years of oppression from our landlords, freedom from bills while we make career transitions, freedom from over abundance of possession to move and store...and It is worth it. If you want to be released from bondage, there is a price to be paid. That's the central truth of Christian faith in Christ. Our nature wants to run back to Egypt like the Israelites where we think we had it good enough, not remembering how hard it was. I want to be free, even if it is hard. And it will be. One of my favorite hymns is "Come Thou Font Of Many Blessings'. The parts that resonates most with me are "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." and '...Like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee". God is using this time to work on my wandering heart. It is hard to admit all the places I fall short but I am thankful that He is not willing to let me go my own way. Many years ago a pastor gave a sermon with an example I never forgot. (I guess God knew I would need it in my remembrance over and over again) He said that the way the hunters catch monkeys in the wild is by placing a small box in the jungle. They make a hole in it just big enough for the monkey to put it's hand through to reach the nuts they bait the box with. But...once the monkey has made a fist grasping onto the nuts it is too big to go back through the hole. The hunters simply walk up to the box/monkey and put it in a cage. The monkey, even in the face of it's captor will not let go of the nuts and set itself free. This was a profound message for me. There have been lots of 'nuts' in my life that I would not let go of. I'm a slow learner on this one and have graced many a cage. But the thing I was coveting, He is helping me let go of. The truth He revealed about what I was doing and how it was affecting everyone around me has begun to set me free. It is painful to let go but ultimately it is much more painful to hang on. So which picture is me? They both are. But I'm working on making the bear smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller ... ......

Praise You In This Storm

We are losing money, left, right and backward. We have taken a $10,000 loss on our house and been misadvised into a $3000 loss on our truck which we needed to have to move. This has not put me in a positive frame of mind this evening. It is difficult to realize that with the world I will find little if any grace. I remember years ago hearing a Christian woman speaker who shared her story about being set-up to appear on a program in which all the other guests were opposing her. God told her this....'When you're in the lion's den don't count the lions...count on Me'. She went ahead with the panel discussion and soon discovered that the entire studio audience was a group from a Christian women's college and they were all on her side. The plan of the programmers backfired on them in a big way. Good advice. I certainly feel like the prowling lion has been assigned to a stake out at my door lately. But, thankfully I have a God who goes before me into battle, walks by my side through thick and thin, watches over me from above and knows the number of hairs on my head, is the rock beneath my feet and who has my back. It may look like everything is falling apart before my eyes and that we are losing things and that the road is not finished ahead of me, but God can see far beyond my range of vision. I have to trust that, no matter what. So here's my song for tonight. It's by Casting Crowns. It is a song God gave me before I left the island and now I think I know why. He knew tough times were coming and that they would make me question and He gave me a response. Here it is.

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus